Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Sen. Barack Obama: It's time to test the DNA

In reviewing some of the many comments I've received about the ethnic composition of Barack Obama, the range of social intercourse has come from every imaginable angle.

I've had pictures taken from Mr. Obama's so-called "African Tour" purporting to show just how black the people who live in the area of his father's birth are, Ph.D. level dissertations on the Luo tribe and its interaction with the Arab slave trader forefathers of Mr. Obama, to opinions that this controversy shows the madness of trying to run a "Melting Pot" society with ethnic labels pasted on the foreheads of its citizens.

In reading this range of thought, I've come to believe the Big Scoop on this topic will come when someone grabs something with Mr. Obama's DNA smeared on it, then runs it to a lab for analysis.

I'm serious about that. There is no better proof available in our time than a DNA test.

The challenge is, however, who will hang the bell on the cat's tail - when Secret Service agents, local law enforcement, and big-bruiser bodyguards keep everyone but the pre-screened supporters too far away to get something suitable for testing.

DNA analysis is not my field. So I'm stuck with only what I've been told about it; I hope one of you reading this will send in a comment to flesh out the hows, and what the results can tell us.

I'm thinking that the most vulnerable time for Mr. Obama will be when he makes local talk radio and TV appearances.

It's not hard to imagine a resourceful soul getting what the DNA analysts need: "Here you are, Sen. Obama, have a glass of water, and here's a kerchief to wipe your brow to keep the sweat from rolling down your face . . . and I'll be happy to dispose of the glass and kerchief when you're finished."

Of course, now that I've laid out the scenario, it will be interesting to see what his traveling campaign staff does to keep anyone from doing what I just described. I'm not so unaware of the early timeline nature of this ethnic composition problem; right now, I seriously doubt anyone at that level of his campaign knows anything about this fermenting in the blogs.

What that means to our resourceful soul is that there is no better time than now to get a sample. Once his staff gets wind of this, they will lock out everyone else from getting anything that can be tested.

But the irony of it all is that by turning themselves into a cross of Mr. Clean, and Rosie "The Quicker Picker Upper," picking up anything he breathed upon and spraying Lysol on everything he touches, they will actually be telling us all that they know that what we want to prove is the truth.

The bizarre picture of his staff behaving that way will just turn up the heat for someone to get through their lines. I can see some first-tier journalist telling the senator's press secretary, "I just want this dinner napkin to take home to my kids as a souvenir."

Now that will be funny.

If you have the ability to get something that can be analyzed, please do so at your first opportunity. It really does matter. You will be doing a tremendous "good deed" for America, and the world.

Be sure to establish a "chain of custody" from his body to the lab. You know Sen. Obama will lie about everything having to do with getting to the truth about him.

And when he does that, it will bring more attention to it. The goal here is to create such a level of interest that the first-tier information organizations are forced to deal with the issue. Be sure to be nice to them by giving them a loophole big enough for a 747 to explain away why they never thought of this first. They will be incredibly grateful to you for that loophole.

If the test came up as I researched, with a African Negro component less than the federal threshold of 12.5%, then Sen. Obama will have a major problem on his hands.

Unlike his non-votes of "Present" in the Illinois State Senate when bombshell issues arrived at his doorstep and he couldn't take an honest stand one way or the other on them, a DNA test will be published, it will have the necessary scientific gravitas to demand attention from the first-tier information organizations; he can't duck out and hide.

I don't know who will get the sample for testing, but now that the idea is out in the open, it will be only a matter of time until it happens.

And to whomever this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity graces, get yourself a great lawyer when the results come back to you. I can assure you that Sen. Obama will do everything he can to lock you down.

But like little white spots on the front of a dress, this sample of DNA will also bring a political life of lies to a sudden end. "Hell hath no fury" like an ethnic constituency played for fools.

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